Dear Adele...
(Letter from the future to 1973)
Greetings from your future!
I know an odd idea, but one which I am sure must have been around when we were young.
I have just finished reading another autobiography (yes, we still love reading) in which the writer finished his book with a letter written to his younger self, pointing out all the things which he was worrying about and which turned out to be OK.
I thought I would take this opportunity to try something similar.
You may have some very specific questions which you would like answers to, but I am not here to deal with the minutiae of day to day events. Suffice it to say, that I am writing from your sixth decade and nothing has defeated us so far.
That is not to say that things have been a bed of roses all the time, but I want you to know that you continue to mature with the same attitude that was first expressed on your final report from junior school; you know the bit where it said, “Adele approaches everything with the minimum of fuss and the maximum of efficiency.” You may not believe it, but those qualities become your bedrock, they are the default position you approach everything from and because of that, there may be some personal aggravation, some people whose company you choose to avoid – but you will also derive much personal satisfaction from maintaining your high standards and always doing everything to the very best of your ability.
Don’t worry about being shy or scared about almost every new situation and thing. You will develop phenomenal strategies to enable you to deal with new people and new places. Approaches which will mask your insecurity to the point where no one else will even believe how terrified you are inside. These new skills will enable you to almost reinvent yourself at different times in your life and as a result you will thrive.
Secondary school will continue to be stressful, but you will get through it. Looking back there will even be moments when you will eventually come to appreciate elements of the education you received, and friendships which continued to flourish through those years will be with you for decades afterwards. How about if I were to tell you that some of the people you saw at school today, you also saw today, some 49 years later.
As for what you do after school – this is where you will come into your own. I am not going to tell you what you go on to study or the profession you choose to follow. From what I remember of being your age, you didn’t think about such things for another couple of years. But believe me when I tell you, that you will make some brilliant decisions, and all will be well. There will even be people out there in your future that will be grateful for the time you shared with them, and that is the most wonderful thing that can ever be said.
All this you will achieve by being you. You will have enormous energy, perseverance, motivation, aptitude, competence, and efficiency and on top of that a quick and witty mind.
I know that you do not recognise those words, but you are going to have to trust me when I tell you, that after those secondary years, things will get a whole heap better.
There will be times in the future when you become invisible and undervalued – but stick to your underlying principles and you will get through them. I cannot promise that you will be unscathed by the experience – but you will find others too who share the same encounters and you will draw strength from each other.
Most of the people you will encounter will be kind and generous and some will become close friends. Try and open yourself up to the concept of friendship and believe that people really do want to spend time with you. I have to admit that this is still something that we struggle with, maybe if you start to believe in yourself a little more now, by the time we reach my age we maybe a little more secure.
As for family. There are no spoilers here – no big reveals; but I will tell you that in our future we do develop and interest in genealogy and it would be really helpful if you started asking questions of grandparents and great aunts and uncles now!
As for everything else, it will, I promise sort itself out and we will have a fabulous future. You will be loved, and you will love and maybe this is all you really needed to know.
Remember, I am with you at all times.
Love
Adele
P.S. As for writing, Miss M. will not squash that talent, however hard she seems to be trying. You always were and always will be good with words.
Written to her 13 year old self by Adele, Hillingdon u3a
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