Sarah Wood
Hartley Wintney u3a
South East region
Shocking
Derek could not believe his luck. She was perfect - blond, beautiful, young and above all, alone. It was unexpected, serendipity perhaps, but Derek did not believe in such romantic rubbish.
She sat on the bar stool beside him.
“I hope you don’t mind,” she purred in a throaty voice that oozed sexuality. “I’m meeting someone, but he isn’t here yet and I hate being on my own in pubs. You’d be amazed at the number of men that think just because you’re alone, you want to be chatted up.”
Derek was not at all surprised, as he had been doing that very thing without success.
“Most of them are married, of course. Desperately hoping that they can still appeal to the fairer sex despite their middle-aged spread.”
“I hope I don’t fall into that category.” Derek patted his toned stomach. Employing that personal trainer might just pay dividends.
“I can see you work out.” She put her hand over his and Derek felt a small tinglingly sensation moving up his arm.
“No ring, I see, not that that means anything,” she said, looking up through her long, curled lashes.
“Oh, I’m separated, shortly to be divorced. Sadly, my wife Lucy didn’t take her marriage vows as seriously as me.” As he had expected, this produced sympathy from his new acquaintance.
“You poor thing. That must have shaken your trust in us women.”
“I hope I was just unlucky, and I’ll find my soul mate.” He stroked the short stubbily beard he had been nurturing, hoping that it would make him look young and trendy.
Sylvia checked her watch. “I don’t think I’m going to find my soul mate just yet. Looks like I’ve been stood up.”
“His loss is my gain. That’s if you’d like to stay and have a drink with me. The food is good here too if you’re hungry.”
She gave him a glowing smile. “I’ve already had something, but I do love watching a man eat.”
. . .
From that night the relationship moved on quickly. Sylvia confessed she had fallen out with her flatmate and was looking for somewhere to live. Derek did not hesitate in inviting her to stay, rather than risk losing her to someone else. Besides, he was growing tired of ironing his own shirts, and all the other mundane tasks he had been forced to undertake since Lucy’s departure.
Sylvia asked about the beginning of his relationship with his wife. Rather than admit that he had swooped in after Lucy had been dumped a few weeks before her wedding, and taken advantage of her vulnerable state, Derek said, “It was a whirlwind romance. We got married on the beach in Antigua.”
“That sounds so romantic.” Sylvia stroked his arm, and Derek felt the familiar tinglingly sensation she evoked every time she touched him.
When Derek got home from work each evening, Sylvia was there, looking stunning with a cordon bleu meal prepared - exactly what Derek expected of a partner.
“Lucy rarely got home before me, always saying she had to work late. We had a lot of ready-meals.”
“Where does she work?”
“In the research department at that electrical engineering firm in town.” Derek realised he had never paid much attention to Lucy’s job. She was always a bit vague about what she did. Besides, he had his career to focus on.
“Is that where she got all the state-of-the-art appliances in the house?”
“She was always bringing prototype robot-like devices home. She used to natter on about her work, but I was the main bread winner.”
Derek noticed that he was piling on the pounds. Sylvia stayed as slim as the day he met her, and he realised she did not eat much. At the end of a meal there was usually as much on her plate as there was when they started. When she moved in, amongst her belongings were various electrical gadgets. When he had asked what they were all for, she coyly replied,
“They are my secret weapons in the battle to remain young and beautiful for you, darling.”
The sex was amazing. He thought Sylvia must have read every sex manual ever written and perfected each move. It was as if she existed just for his comfort and pleasure, and to Derek that was how it should be. He was not interested in how she managed to look perfect. He was happy to show her off at work functions, whilst looking smugly at the envious glances of his work colleagues.
. . .
When Sylvia asked about the marriage breakup, Derek put the blame on Lucy.
“We agreed we wouldn’t have children, but then she suddenly went all broody and went off with someone she works with.”
Sylvia snuggled up to him on the sofa. “You poor thing. She sounds so calculating and selfish. What did you do?”
“I wasn’t going to let her get all the money. It was quite easy to syphon off the savings. The look on her face when she realised the house was only in my name was priceless.”
“That was so clever of you.”
“I’ve got a private investigator to get evidence suggesting an extra marital affair. That will help my case, but she’s being really calculating by forcing me to wait until the length of separation will allow for an easier divorce. I just want to be free of her.”
. . .
Six months into their relationship, Derek came home to find Sylvia lying on the bed with her headphones on. He noticed additional wires.
“Are you using that toning machine again?”
“Yes, I have to keep slim for you. And I’m just resting before our big night celebrating. Six months since we met. Why don’t you run a bath? I’ll be with you in a moment.”
He was in the bath when Sylvia walked in.
“Room for one more?” she asked, as she bent down to kiss him on the lips. Derek couldn’t quite believe the tinglingly sensation he got whenever she kissed him. He had never experienced anything like it before.
“Why don’t you climb in,” he asked, adding, “you might want to unplug your toning gadget first.”
The shock he got when she took off the toning belt and dropped it in the bath was very unexpected.
. . .
Lucy was in the Coroner’s Court for the verdict - heart failure caused by misadventure. During the proceedings, Sylvia had explained that Derek had been worried about weight gain and tearfully recalled her horror at finding him dead in the bath attached to her toning machine. The coroner issued recommendations for further warnings about using electrical devices in bathrooms. Lucy bent her head, not daring to look up for the world to see the smile she could barely suppress. Things had turned out rather well. Lucy, still Derek’s lawful wife, would inherit all of Derek’s estate. Her career was flourishing. She was rid of the insufferable Derek and she had found love. A romance had developed with the work colleague who had given her shelter, and provided comfort through her separation and the sudden death of her estranged husband. He shared her hopes for a family and the longed-for baby was on the way.
Lucy imagined telling her work colleagues, “The pregnancy is so unexpected. I was worried I’d left it too late to start a family.”
The coroner passed on his sincere condolences to Derek’s widow whilst Sylvia, immaculately turned out as usual, sat quietly, demurely dabbing her eyes with a tissue.
There was only one matter left to deal with. Lucy was determined to portray herself as the wronged but forgiving wife. She gave Sylvia a hug and spoke quietly to her. There must be no loose ends. Sylvia nodded and turned around, walking to the exit.
To anyone that choose to inquire, Sylvia had left the country to live with her family in Australia. Whereas she had been decommissioned and was currently in bits in a cupboard of the house Lucy moved back into following Derek’s death. Sylvia had played her part well, thanks to Lucy’s intricate programming. After all, Lucy was now head of the robotics department.