Dear Jennifer
Help is always at Hand
Being creative in my retirement has kept me sane and given my mind an avenue to temporarily escape the unexpected stresses in life, which are still here, of course.
However, I was not expecting this to happen, to be honest, at my age, I am 71 now. Although I was preparing for the changes we come to expect, as we grow towards our even older selves.
But my world changed in an unexpected way recently after a few harsh words altered my world view - another palimpsest to write. Yet again, I thought – Am I who I thought I was? Yes you are…So, don’t let the world get you down when people close to you surprise and hurt you.
You are who you are and that is all that is necessary…
Look into the circumstances before you turn in on yourself. You will probably find the cause is in the other person – so, no self-blame required.
It is important to try and understand who you are as you grow older. You may change over time and also because of what life throws at you. Be flexible and adaptable but always be yourself.
Do not forget who you are. You can use this self-awareness to help you make your own decisions about your life.
Always believe in yourself, and learn to trust your gut instincts. Always be kind to yourself and others. See others point of view. Never allow yourself to be led astray. You know in your heart what is right or wrong for you. Try not to be judgemental. Look below the surface. Try to understand why people act in a particular way and make sure you do not take anything too personally.
My strong sense of self got me through difficult times, I did not realise it at the time, I just went with my gut feeling and avoided too much introspection. This resulted in my decision making being good, so there is no need to doubt yourself ever.
Everyone is different, as you know. Some people let their head rule their heart. Others let their heart rule their head. The life situation will determine which road is best to follow at any one time, according to who you are. As long as you are being true to yourself you are doing the best you can. That is enough.
Make yourself your best friend, and practice self-compassion – you have to work on this, it does not come easy. But it is worth it and brings peace.
If you can avoid anger, either towards yourself or others all to the good, but you can never be perfect, accept this and move on and never dwell.
Try not to be defensive when you feel criticised. Take a pause before you reply. That helps to stop people winding you up. This is something else which is hard to do when you don’t realise you have made defensiveness a habit.
The biggest thing I learnt on my life journey was that things never go according to plan.
So, take the rough with the smooth as our Dad used to say…In our autograph book he wrote
“One thing is certain the more you deliberately seek happiness the more sure you are not to find it. It is therefore, far better to take things as they come with patience and equanimity”. Dr. Carl Jung. Don’t forget these wise words.
Enjoy life whenever you can. The good times are precious. Treasure them. Live life to the full. Carpe Diem – Seize the Day!
Be realistic. Accept your strengths and weaknesses. Do not try to be perfect or to please everybody.
Try not to be too anxious about things. Unless there is an obvious, actual reason to – Do not worry.
Just be yourself – work hard and play hard. Do not compare your life with that of others. We all have our own destinies depending on who we are and where we came from. Accept that and work with it.
Read Desiderata, a prose poem by Max Ehrmann. A good philosophy to follow.
Also, remember our ancestors, the following words I have only just come across are useful too. “Walking I am listening to a deeper way. Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me. Be still they say. Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands. ” Linda Hogan.
Help is at hand. Never Give Up.
Love From Your old friend
YOURSELF XXX